 McCAIN
SUFFERS MILD HEART ATTACK
For three hours, Sarah Palin is
presidential candidate. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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U.S. Economy Meltdown Triggers
Worldwide Depression
Six billion people encouraged to go shopping. |
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North Korea Taken Off Terror List
Put on terror list taxi squad. |
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Karzai's Brother Linked
To Heroin Trade
Tells reporters “I don't know nothin' 'bout
that shit.” |
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 G7 Leaders Meet to
Discuss Worsening Economic Crisis
Cost of meeting: $3.2 million. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Paulson Optimistic Economy
Will Turn Around
Cites encouraging e-mail from Nigeria. |
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Heating Oil Prices to Surge
This Winter
Americans urged to build igloos. |
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| REMINDER |
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Friends
don't let friends vote
for someone who calls
everyone
“my friends.” |
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Consumer Confidence Index
At All-Time Low
Consumers' confidence in Consumer
Confidence Index at all-time high. |
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 Alaska Legislative Panel: Gov. Palin
Abused Power, Violated Ethics Laws
But aw shucks by golly, she's darn cute. |
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Americans Looking for New
Start
Pile possessions on car roofs, head for
California. |
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