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Ironic Times

 NO. 648 “Expect the Ironic” FEBRUARY 11 - 17, 2013 

Feb 4
Feb 18
  NASA SAYS 150-FOOT ASTEROID WILL JUST MISS EARTH
 
  Destroying all life as we know it.
 
WORLD NEWS
Netanyahu Says He'll Seek Broad Coalition to Govern
Drawing from leaders of both the right and the far right.
Brit Inquiry Widens After Horse Meat Found in Frozen Lasagna
Now targeted: all products from Triple Crown Meats.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Bones Under Parking Lot Identified as Richard III’s
He was apparently run over by someone trying to get a good spot.
U. S. NEWS
Justice Department Memo Reveals Legal Case for Drone Strikes on Americans
Similar to torture memo, except phrase “enhanced interrogation techniques” has been replaced by “kill anyone we damn well please.”
Republicans Push for Immigration Reform Without Path to Citizenship
Illegal immigrants can stay, but as pariahs.
 
REMINDER
  A tomato's genome is more complex than yours.
 
Postal Service to End Saturday Delivery
You'll receive an official notice, eventually.
National Weather Service Furious With Weather Channel for Naming Storms
Winter Storm Roker was “the last straw,” says spokesman.
 
POLITICS
Republicans Trying to Rebrand Party
As young, forward thinking, ethnically diverse obstructionists.
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