| IRONIC TIMES PERSON OF |
 THE
YEAR: KIM KARDASHIAN
Reality star chosen over Ebola doctors,
Vladimir Putin and two-time loser Pope
Francis. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Starting Next Year, Dutch
Bankers Must Swear to Uphold
Banker's “Hippocratic Oath”
Or get jobs in U.S. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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New York Times Calls for
Prosecution of Dick Cheney
With a thorough trial, a fair decision
and a speedy execution. |
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Year Ends With Economy Booming
Apple Mary selling gift baskets. |
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| NEW PRODUCTS |
|
 A Wearable
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Finally, a computer for dogs who know
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to interrupt their work when they go for
a walk. $499, at Cyber Canine. |
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| (Once again our international panel of experts
gives us a peek at what to expect in the next twelve
months.) |
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 | Kandu,
mystic (India): “The first successful teleportation will send
a mouse from Los Angeles to San Francisco instantaneously,
putting California's high-speed rail project on hold.” |
 | Madame Blavinsky,
psychic (Switzerland): “Hackers will force Warner
Brothers to pull all its Charlie Chan movies from syndication.” |
 | Cassandra,
seer (Canada): “The wealth gap will become so great
the rich will lap the poor.” |
 | The Oracle,
oracle (Delphi): “The Supreme Court will rule corporations
can legally marry and that their subsidiaries are their children.” |
 | Watson,
supercomputer (U.S.): “A man in Michigan will pay
for Google Glass in bitcoins, have it delivered by drone, be
disappointed with his purchase, return it by drone and receive
a full discount in bitcoins” |
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