 WORLD WELCOMES NEW DECADE
7.8 billion humans look forward to
increased nationalism, growing economic
disparity, an existential climate crisis,
and some great TV. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Russia Deploys Hypersonic Nuclear
Weapon, Which Can Evade All Known
Missile Defenses
“Quite an achievement, you should be
very proud,” Trump tells Putin. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Pentagon Plans Cyber Warfare to
Counter Russian Interference
Seeks waiver to draft 14-year-olds into
military service. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Kim Jong
Un's Promised “Christmas Gift” Finally
Arrives
“I love it!” says Trump. |
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| (Once again we turn to our stellar panel
of psychics, seers and soothsayers for a
look at what's to come in the new year.) |
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 | Kandu: “President
Trump is reelected, winning Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio,
Pennsylvania and Florida, each by one vote.” |
 | Madame Blavinsky:
“It gets so hot in the Arctic seals start
selling their fur.” |
 | Cassandra:
“The trial in the Senate draws a large TV
audience and gets picked up for another season.” |
 | Nostradamus:
“The economy becomes so strong every able
American will have a good part-time job.” |
 | Tiresias:
“A time traveler from the future will appear
just to prove me right.” |
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