Ironic Times

 NO. 230 "Expect the Ironic" FEBRUARY 7 - 13, 2005 

Jan 31
Feb 14
BUSH: SOCIAL SECURITY WILL RUN OUT OF FUNDS BY 2042
Just before we run out of fossil fuels, say experts.
 
WORLD NEWS
Castro Calls Bush “Deranged”
Makes charge during six-hour State of the Dictatorship speech in Havana.
Axis of Evil Expels Iraq
May be readmitted in a few years, says Axis spokesman.
Bush Warns Iran Not to Meddle in Iraq
And don't interfere with our intelligence units secretly operating in Iran, either.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Yogi Berra Sues TBS for Using His Name in Racy TV Ad
“They never gave me permission to use it,” he says.
U. S. NEWS
Rumsfeld Twice Offered to Resign During Abu Ghraib Scandal
Both times to spend more time with his family.
U.S. Marine General: “It's
Fun to Shoot Some People”

But not yourself, in the foot.
 
REMINDER
   You’re smarter than some of the
   earliest computers.
 
White House Chef Leaving
After 11 Years

He'll return to his old job at Arby's.
Viagra Covered Under New
Medicare Drug Plan

After relentless lobbying by Bob Dole.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Nixon Tapes Returned to
Nixon Library

“It's about [expletive deleted] time.” says curator.
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