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Ironic Times

 NO. 705 “Expect the Ironic” MARCH 17 - 23, 2014 

Mar 10
Mar 24
CRIMEANS VOTE TO JOIN RUSSIA, SECEDE
Reject alternative (Secede, Join Russia).
 
WORLD NEWS
World on Brink of Another Cold War
Three new Bond films greenlighted.
Canada Questions Whether Erotic TV Has Required 35% Canadian Content
After studying actors' accents in over 1200 porn films.
Kim Jong Un Reelected
With 100% of Vote

Loser could not be reached for comment.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Pole-Dancing Robots Could Presage Future of “Live” Entertainment
Nightclubs featuring sexy robots performing for humanoids arriving in driverless cars.
U. S. NEWS
Feinstein: CIA Broke Into Senate Computers to Thwart Torture Investigation
And made a mess of her iTunes playlist.
Number of American Millionaires Nearly 10 Million
And you're one Powerball win away from joining them.
 
REMINDER
  Ask your pot dispensary if they accept bitcoins.
 
Millennials Present Problems for Economy's Future
They don't drive, they don't shop, they don't travel and they don't work.
 
POLITICS
Analysis: GOP Split by Generational Divide
Old guard opposes same-sex marriage, abortion, legalizing marijuana, immigration reform, affirmative action, food stamps, Medicare, Medicaid, social security, taxes and any programs to help the poor; young guard disagrees with them on pot.
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