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OBAMA SNAPS SELFIE AT
WHITE HOUSE
Wants proof to show his poker buddies years
from now when one of them doesn't believe
he was ever president. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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North Korean State
Media Releases High Resolution
Un-Retouched Headshots of Kim, Other
Top Party Officials
In response to relentless demand
from North Korea's numerous fan magazines. |
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Saudi Arabia Struggles to Move
Away From Oil-Dependent Economy
Only other export: terrorism. |
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ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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ISIS
Releases App for Kids
Like Candy Crush, but crueler. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Trump Denies Posing as Own
Spokesman in 90's Phone
Calls to Reporters
Total lies! Mr. Trump is fantastic!
current spokesman shouts in phone call
from unlisted number in Florida. |
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TSA Collected Over $760,000
In Unclaimed Cash Left at
Airports Last Year
And over 284,000 belts. |
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REMINDER |
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History is written by the winners with a book deal. |
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Cambridge, Mass: 150 Scientists
Meet in Secret About Creating a
Synthetic Human Genome
And another one for its bride. |
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Lawmakers Trying to Determine
How Much Marijuana Too Much for Drivers
One proposal: offer them Oreos, if they eat
more than twenty, book 'em. |
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POLITICS |
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If Trump Wins,
Christie Will Head Trump's Transition Team
If he loses, Christie will head team of
doormen at Trump Tower. |
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